Courtesy of TAZscripts.
Transcript[]
Griffin: Previously, on the Adventure Zone…
Griffin: And now standing before you is this, this hideous, tall, hairy creature. It is, what you maybe would have considered before you met the real deal, it’s Bigfoot. This thing pushes Ned through the rift and follows behind and the rift disappears. Everybody in there sees Dewey get flung into the room, badly bloodied at this point, and Sheriff Owens runs and jumps in a squad car and takes off in hot pursuit.
Justin: I’m gonna grab on the back of the sheriff’s car.
Griffin: Also you are standing in a virtual space. You feel this electric shock at your neck. You are in what appears to be in the decrepit lobby of some sort of hotel. The being has just stepped through the rift. It perches itself on the edge of the table and then dives claws first in your direction.
[The Adventure Zone: Amnesty Theme by Griffin McElroy plays]
Justin: Damn. Glad I got that fuckin’ chunky roll outta the way.
Griffin: Yeah, get those 3’s out. Trav, you wanna get a -- Dad got his 4 out, Juice got his 3 out, do you wanna get a nasty one out?
Clint: [laughing]
Justin: Get a clunker out, Trav.
Griffin: Get a clunker out, it feels good.
Justin: Squeeze out a clunker on Roll20.
Griffin: Just cleanse the [crosstalk]
Justin: [crosstalk] Oh, there is an 8!
Travis: [crosstalk] That’s not bad.
Griffin: [crosstalk] That’s pretty good, dang it. Hey, welcome to the Max Fun Drive episode!
Travis: And then a 9?
Griffin: Aw, Travis is blowing his load and we’re here to tell you about the Max Fun Drive, we’re so -- speaking of…
Justin: Blowin’ loads!
Griffin: Yeah, we’re talking about the Max Fun Drive this week! We’re so excited to be here with you joining in this wonderful communion we call podcasts --
Justin: We may sound like we’re about to finish, but we are just getting started talking about this great drive. Folks, Maximum Fun, if you don’t know, is our podcast network; it’d be weird if you didn’t know that because we talk about it a lot. Maximum Fun is our podcast network and once a year we come to you, hat in hand, and say, ‘Hey, if you could spare a few bucks a month to help keep the network going, help keep our show… s, shows plural, going, we would sure appreciate it.’ So what does that mean to you, the viewer? The listener? Uh, it means that you need to head over to maximumfun.org/donate and choose what donation level you can get on board with, be it $5, $10, uh, $25, all the way up to $200, if you’re a stone cold... superfan, I guess.
[All laughing]
Justin: Everything else I could think of was pejorative and I don’t want to say anything pejorative because, like, if you wanna do that, oh yeah!
Griffin: If you’re the CEO of Stone Cold Creamery, which is not what it’s called --
Travis: [crosstalk] But oh, if only it was!
Griffin: If you’re Stone Cold Steve Austin and you wanna support us at 200 bucks a month, go nuts! If you do support us you will first of all get the knowledge that you are helping us grow --
Justin: Directly by the way.
Griffin: Directly!
Justin: You’ll put in the shows that you listen to when you register your donation and those are the shows that get your cash.
Griffin: And it’s because of that support that we've been able to turn this into our career! It’s why we've been able to take these shows so seriously and devote so much time to them and grow in the ways that we've grown and -- not only that, you also get some pretty slick gifts as well that -- um, let’s talk about those maybe during the break in the middle -- [crosstalk]
Travis: [crosstalk] Well, can I just say my favorite one that everyone gets at every level -- all kinds of bonus content -- not just the new bonus content from this year, but all bonus content going back through the Max Fun Drives and this year the bonus episode for The Adventure Zone, you'll be able to hear us play Honey Heist which is a one play -- one page RPG in which I will DM and Griffin, Dad, and Justin play bears trying to steal honey from HoneyCon.
Griffin: Very excited to record that one. Very excited to get out on that one. So we’re gonna talk more about the Max Fun Drive, right now if you feel the spirit move you its maximumfun.org/donate, and uh, let’s do the show.
Travis: You’re in a dungeon.
Griffin: You're in a big dungeon, and there's, uh, a big goblin! [crosstalk]
Travis: [crosstalk] Oh no!
Griffin: And he has, he has a crown. You take the crown and win!
Travis: Oh okay.
Griffin: So Maximum Fun, we need the money to keep this motherfucker afloat.
Travis: Maximum Fun pays Griffin by the word.
Griffin: Uh, yes. I wanna, um, I wanna pick it up with Ned because that was sort of the thing we did not resolve at the -- well, actually there was a lot of cliffhanger-ing happening at the end of the last episode.
Justin: And some car hangering.
Griffin: And some car hangering, yes. But let’s start with Ned, um, Ned, to remind you, and I’m talking to Dad now, not Ned, uh, you are in --
Justin: [in a spooky voice] Is Ned there? [crosstalk]
Griffin: [crosstalk] [spooky voice] Ned?
Justin: [crosstalk] Ned? Can we speak with Ned?
Griffin: Can we channel him?
Clint: [making a awoo-woo noise like a ghost]
Justin: [normal voice] God, what’s worse than when James Lipton does that, uh --
Travis: Yeah.
Justin: You ever see that one where-- The Simpsons-- where he’s talking to Yeardley Smith and he’s like, ‘Can we speak with Bart Simpson?’
[crosstalk, them exclaiming and laughing]
Travis: Oh, that one with The Simpsons where they're all there and I’m pretty sure it just goes one by one, like, ‘Now do Mo!’ and [crosstalk] it’s weird.
Justin: I’m sorry, I said Yeardley Smith, who’s Lisa, I meant Nancy Cartwright. I’m very sorry.
Griffin: Ned is in, uh, some sort of building. It’s kind of dark and you haven't really had time to get your surroundings. You get the impression that it’s some sort of hotel or something along those lines, just based on the fact that you kind of woke up in this place, well, you woke up in some sort of weird VR zone and then got broken out of that and now are in this, uh, sort of dilapidated hotel, you think. You stepped out into the main lobby and you heard this humming coming from down the hobby towards this conference room and you walked toward the humming and got some details on the the Abomination you all have hunting this time around, but then the Abomination saw you and is starting to come in your direction.
Clint: Well, I think Ned’s instincts would be to flee… ?
Travis: Mm-hhmm… ?
Griffin: Yes?
Clint: To run away?
Travis: That tracks, yes.
Clint: Are-- Is-- Is he anywhere near any of those-- you said there were rifts all around the room, is he near any of them?
Griffin: Right, so, you are-- you definitely have this monster between you and these-- and these rifts. There is-- there is just-- there is just no way that you would be, like, you’re in this hallway that he has moved into, there's no way you get past him without getting, getting mauled by this big, big, nasty sort of monstrous Bigfoot creature. So you get the impression that, like, if you wanna get in that room you're either gonna have to overpower this thing or, you know, lose it somehow in this building.
Clint: Uh, Ned would-- he’s not going to initiate a confrontation. I mean, Ned hasn’t become that brave.
Griffin: Okay.
Clint: I think he runs away; I think he runs up one of those staircases.
Griffin: Okay, yeah we can kind of Zork this out if you wanna. I have sort of a layout of this place in my mind, the-- the staircase’s back in the lobby and the kind of exits from here are the main exit of the building, which is just completely boarded up. There is a back office behind the reception desk and then there is the staircase leading upstairs. Are you just trying to run away from this thing so you could, like, break line of sight and-- ?
Clint: Yeah! I think Ned’s-- it’s just-- his flight instincts have kicked in and he’s just going to run as fast as his, his little behind can carry him.
Griffin: Why don’t you Act Under Pressure--
Travis: Wait, are you running on your butt?
[crosstalk]
Travis: Are you using your butt to run?
Clint: That’s a good point, that would not be successful. Uh, all right, let’s see. And that would be a six! Plus...
Justin: Plus… cool?
Clint: Well, it’s cool, which is one, that's a seven.
Griffin: Okay, on a seven you get a mixed success. I give you a Worst Outcome, Hard Choice, or Price to Pay. I think on this one it would be a… Price to Pay? You are able to like, slide to a halt and get up on the first landing of the stairs, but this thing is bigger than you and faster than you and it charges into you and tries to grab onto you. You do feel it get like a hand on you, but you kind of peel off as you sprint up the stairs and it continues on and like crashes into the wall, and you lose it as you run up the stairs, but as you reach the second story, you reach down and realise that you dropped the gun, the Narf Blaster.
Clint: You didn't, you didn’t do that to me! Aw...
Griffin: It’s not gone forever but it is down in the lobby somewhere. But you have gotten away from this thing and you are on the second floor. You are standing in just like this one long single hallway, and there are 5 doors sort of branching off into other rooms. Through one, you see kind of a like decrepit looking bathroom, through one you see a, like, a bedroom suite and the floor in that room is just, like, almost entirely gone. It has just been smashed through; it’s just a big hole for the most part. Through that hole, actually, you can kind of see that rear office that the door was leading into down in the lobby and the other 2, like, bedrooms on the sides of this hallway; they're in sort of similar states of disrepair, and then at the end of this hallway you can see, just from your perspective, you see this one really large bedroom suite and there is there is some sort of light shining from beyond your field of view. The monster cannot see you right now; it’s at the base of the stairs. What do you do?
Clint: I don't know if Ned would leave without the gun.
Griffin: Uh, yep, I mean…
Clint: Okay, um, Ned-- he doesn't have a choice; I gotta play true to the character. He tears ass down the hallway towards the big room with the light.
Griffin: Okay, you race forward into the largest bedroom up on this floor. Are you shutting the door behind you, is this, like, are you-- ?
Clint: Yup.
Griffin: Okay.
Clint: I’m shutting the door and diving under the bed.
Griffin: Okay, I like it. You shut the door and as you do so you hear the bigfoot monster reach the top of the stairs. You hear like planks of wood, like, groaning under its weight and you enter the room and you slide under the bed. You can kind of see really quickly that this room is actually very well illuminated, it's the brightest room you've been in in this dark building so far, and just like from looking around this master suite, you can tell, like, this is definitely a hotel. I think in the closet actually, you can see some, like, old slippers and bathrobes and, I mean, just the layout of this building, you are now for sure, like, this is a hotel. So at the edge of this room, the big double bed that you slid under, you see a figure lying in this bed. It is a humanoid shape that has been sort of incapacitated in a similar manner as what you were in just minutes ago, this like weird sort of virtual space, only it seems like a bit more attention and care went into their imprisonment. It’s not just like their head that is encased in light, like, their entire body is just in this cocoon of light. On the abdomen of this weird cocoon, you see some sort of like interface with moving lines and figures in some sort of language that you have never seen before in your life, and as you sort of like slide under the bed to hide, the monster’s getting closer and closer and it makes its way into the room that you're in and starts looking around. I think the roll plays here, I don't think you're-- unless you have something else you wanna do, if you're just hiding-- trying to wait this thing out--
Clint: Yeah, I think hiding is a wonderful choice; this is the Ned choice to make.
Justin: Is there a Hide Under Pressure?
[laughing]
Travis: Hide Under Bed?
Griffin: The roll that you did continues to play here; I’m not going to make you roll to hide again.
Clint: God, there's dust bunnies, ugh.
[crosstalk]
Travis: Literal, they're literal monster dust bunnies.
Clint: Yeah.
Griffin: Yes. You, from your perspective, I mean, obviously you can see the big, nasty-- big feet of the Bigfoot. You see this thing just sort of walking around the room, and then it stops to sort of check up on this figure that is lying on the bed immediately above you, and then it walks over to the corner of this room and you see it--
Travis: Urinate.
Griffin: [deadpan] You see it-- urinate and it’s-- cool. So funny.
[laughing]
Griffin: Justin, you still got that soundboard hooked up? ‘Cause you gotta be on the quick draw with stuff like that, where Travis brings out the heat.
Justin: I’ll be ready next time.
Griffin: Ok, you see it sort of fiddling with another piece of--
Travis: [crosstalk] Itself.
Griffin: [crosstalk] Technology-- Travis, here it comes! [rimshot sound effect] Yeah, thank you. It’s messing with some sort of, like, another piece of technology that is unlike anything you've ever seen before. It looks like these, like, glass bubbles of all these different kind of shapes and sizes, over a hundred of them, you'd estimate, and they are all attached to what looks like this, like, big bag or something? You're having a hard time telling what it is from your perspective under the bed, with the monster here in it, but he's doing something with it... Yeah, I think after a while he turns and leaves the room and you can hear him walk down the hallway looking for you in some other spot. He's gone; what do you do?
Clint: Okay, I’m gonna investigate the figure in the bed.
Griffin: Okay, this would be ...
Clint: That's a mystery, isn’t it, Investigate a Mystery?
Griffin: Oh, I think, tell me what the action is and then we’ll figure out if it’s actually a roll cause if you’re just lookin’ at this thing, then…
Clint: Yeah, I’m just gonna-- I’m gonna look at the, the weird inscription or the weird words on its abdomen. Are the words on an actual item?
Griffin: It’s, like, on this, like, uh-- imagine, like, your skin is just, like, covered in light, like, it is in the shape of a humanoid person, and the readout is in the light on the abdomen. It is, uh, a weird thing. I think Investigate a Mystery right? You do not know what this thing is, so anything you can get from this is gonna be through inference and I think that's worth rolling for.
Clint: Okay, so… Investigate a Mystery, that’s a 9 plus… Sharp… which is 2… that's an 11.
Griffin: Cool! So you can hold 2 questions, and I think this is appropriate because this is like wrapped into the mystery of what this thing is. ‘What happened here’, ‘what sort of creature is it’, ‘what can it do’, ‘what can hurt it’, ‘where did it go’, ‘what is it going to do’, ‘what is being concealed here’?
Clint: Let’s start with, ‘what is being concealed here?’
Griffin: Okay.
Clint: Since there's obviously something inside this light shape.
Griffin: Okay, sure, with ‘what is being concealed here’-- I mean, the identity of this person? Or whoever it is, is being concealed. You can see on this cocoon of light, there's something being projected on the other side of it, like, the inside of it, that you can only kind of tell-- it’s almost like the same scene you saw, like your memories flashing, you see what look like little video files playing out or something like that on the other side of the screen, so you can’t, like, make out what it is, but they are flashing. Somebody is in there, and they are being sort of-- they are having their sort of memories collected? In the same way that yours were just moments ago. That is, that is what you can tell.
Clint: Okay, can I use my other question to investigate something else-- [crosstalk]
Griffin: [crosstalk] Sure!
Clint: Or does it have to be that. Okay, then I’m going to walk over to the bag with all the balls on it.
Griffin: Okay.
Travis: The ball bag!
Clint: The ball bag.
[rimshot sound effect]
Clint: And what are the questions?
Griffin: Uh, ‘what happened here’, ‘what sort of creature is it’-- [crosstalk]
Travis: [crosstalk] [exaggerated voice] And what’s the deal with the ball bag?!
Griffin: What's the deal with the ball bag?
[Seinfeld bass line sound effect]
[all laughing]
Griffin: This is the worst. ‘What can hurt it’ ‘where did it go’, ‘what was it gonna do’, ‘what’s being concealed here?’
Clint: What can it do? That's the question I’m asking, what can it do?
Griffin: Um, so, this, this machine, now that you're closer to it, you kinda get a better perspective on it. The bag almost looks like a large textile… sack, like a really, really big one, almost, like, a more of a, kind of like a body bag, but with the proportions of a tent or something like that. It is, it is a big bag. And fastened to it, are these orbs. I think with this roll since you're investigating it, you can count the orbs, and there's exactly 118 of them. Inside of them are different kind of... free-floating, like, particles and these particles floating around in these orbs, they have, like, different behaviors: some sort of, like, conglomerate around each other in these perfect orbits, some meld together and split apart, some bounce around, like, sort of quickly and erratically, and that is what the machine looks like. As far as ‘what can it do?’, there's another sort of readout, similar to the one-- using, like, the similar arcane language that you saw on the person over on the bed, and you can’t read that language, but there are sort of crude images also, like, accompanying that language and right now the shape that is on it is in the shape of a human body. That is what you can tell this thing, this thing does.
Clint: You said the orbs were attached to it, right?
Griffin: Yeah, it’s almost like they are feeding into the bag, as if they are some sort of energy source or something like that, that feeds into this big bag.
Clint: Being a thief, Ned’s really gonna want to try to take one of those orbs.
Griffin: Uh, okay… Yeah. I think-- yeah, you can just do it. Tell me-- tell me what the orb looks like, that you pull off. What is the stuff, the, like, particles sort of stuff bouncing around in it look like? And you can tell me literally anything right now.
Clint: It looks like… a sea serpent.
Griffin: Okay. I mean, it's not sentient like that it, is just some sort of particles but this orb, it just like pops out fairly easily from the bag, and as it does so you actually see the readout kind of like turn red and start blinking, and it starts making actually kind of a quiet beeping noise. And you don't hear, like, the monster nearby immediately, but you get the sense this is not a great thing right now, and you could potentially be caught here if ya hang around. But you have successfully retrieved one of these orbs.
Clint: Then I think he’s gonna get the hell outta there.
Griffin: Okay.
Clint: And run back-- and I say run back to the rift room. I have this image of him running out and jumping on the banister of the stairs and sliding down the banister.
Griffin: Uh, okay.
Clint: ‘Cause that would be quieter than running down the stairs.
Griffin: I get you. I’m gonna make you roll again because this is sort of a different motion, I guess. We’re kinda like playing Calvinball a little bit but--
Clint: So is this Act Under Pressure?
Griffin: This would be Act Under Pressure, you trying to scamper--
[all groaning and exclaiming]
Griffin: That is not great, that is a critical failure, what is it called? That's just a failure.
Justin: Just a loss. Get your point of experience, first off--
Griffin: Get your mark, yeah, yeah, that's a-- Uh, Dad rolled a 4 plus cool which is not gonna get him there.
Justin: We gotta start saying the number first.
Griffin: You set foot outta that big bedroom into the hallway and walk down towards the stairs and as you do just like the top stair goes [loud, long groaning noise] Grooooaaaan!
[Travis laughing]
Griffin: And just like instantly the Bigfoot is there at the base of the stairs. You also see, like, a few feet behind him sitting in the middle of the lobby is your gun. It is past him. Again, you have more exits to other rooms behind you. The monster is now standing between you and the bottom of the stairs. What do you do? [music starts playing]
Clint: [sighing] Jump.
[music transition and fade out] {21:16}
Griffin: Duck.
Duck: What’s goin’ on.
Griffin: So you’re doing some tricks. We could play this-- We could just do an audiobook version of Tony Hawk Pro Skater, if you want to tell me all the tricks that you do and we can assign point values to them. I didn’t envision there being half-pipes on the road in Kepler but maybe we can--
Justin: There’s probably like-- I probably get 50 points for avoiding Mountain Dew bottles that have been [Clint laughs] cast on the road.
Travis: Would there be just one paragraph that’s just griiiiiiind?
Griffin: Yes, Duck griiiiinds. And it’s so cool, he collects all the letters in SKATE, [Travis laughs] and he slaps the sticker up on [crosstalk] Bam Margera’s dad’s butt. [Travis laughs]
Travis: [crosstalk] He gets the band tapes.
Justin: Considering Duck’s age is, I think, just a couple years older than me, his main trick right now is not dying, [crosstalk] like don’t die.
Griffin: [crosstalk] Sure.
Griffin: We need to clear something up because we actually didn’t do it in the last Acquisition thing, you have this helmet. And it’s your skateboard helmet that gives you +1 armor. I don’t know that we’ve dealt any harm to Duck but do not forget about that, because something tells me you’re gonna need it on this one! [crosstalk] Because you are skitching on the back of the--
Justin: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Griffin: Man, fucking Scrivener changed the word ‘skitching’, it autocorrected it to ‘switching’, what a narc! [Travis laughs]
Justin: Scrivener is a narc. And I do want to make sure-- I was thinking about what would make sense for Duck to do, ‘cause Duck’s been very aware of his mortality ever since he lost his abilities. I think, when he did this, he literally forgot that he was not [crosstalk] indestructible anymore.
Clint: [crosstalk] [laughs] Indestructible?
Justin: He literally [Griffin laughs] didn’t remember. I think that it was about 90 seconds into this skitching where he remembered like, “Oh fuck, like God dammit, that’s right… shit! Fuck!”
Griffin: Okay, it is right around that moment while you are zooming around behind the sheriff’s car... Are you trying to hide, are you trying to stay out of sight?
Justin: I mean, I’m holding on to the rear bumper so I feel like my default would be-- Yeah, [laughs] you’re gonna stop, right? I mean, if you see a human skitching, you will stop.
Griffin: Yeah.
Justin: For prolonged periods of time.
Clint: He’s in pursuit of somebody.
[crosstalk]
Griffin: Yeah, he is chasing the Bigfoot monster.
Justin: I guess, I don’t want to have to roll to see if he notices me. I think he’s just staying down...
Griffin: Okay! You’re staying down. And... what’s the plan here? Why did you decide to do this? What was the logic, before you forgot you’re invincible?
Justin: You’re asking me why I skitched somebody? Now who’s the fucking narc.
Griffin: Okay. [Clint laughs]
Justin: Yeah, the sheriff can move faster than I can and I’m following the bigfoot. [crosstalk] With the sheriff.
Griffin: [crosstalk] Okay. Gotcha.
Griffin: So it’s right around when you have this realization of you’re not invincible anymore, that the sheriff whips his car around the hairpin turn where the road splits off and starts heading up to topside.
Travis: And then the sheriff pops out of the car and starts ghostriding the whip? What?
Griffin: Everybody’s stunting, it’s so hot right now. Before you hit that turn, you can actually catch a glimpse of the bigfoot, who just made the turn before the sheriff’s car and is still charging on all fours up the mountainside road. You also get the feeling that he caught a glimpse of you as well and the chase continues. The sheriff tries to keep the patrol car steady just like gunning the engines. And then you pass under the underpass, beneath the funicular tram as the road continues on. It’s dark for just a second, and then when you come out the other side, you feel the sheriff tap the brakes and slow down, hesitating for a moment. You hear him curse and then you see the bigfoot suddenly appear ten feet behind you, charging in your direction. What do you do?
Justin: Yeah, hold on a second, let me do a little physics calculation on my end here. [laughs] I’m gonna scramble up on top of the car and smack it, and tell him to drive.
[laughter]
Griffin: Uh...yeah.
Justin: And we’ll say--
Duck: Ey, ey man, fucking bigfoot’s behind you, dude, drive! Jesus Christ! Hey, I’ve been skitching this whole time, brother, I’m really sorry but you gotta fucking drive right now, dude, come on! I’m vulnerable as hell! Come on! Don’t make me fight bigfoot, I wasn’t thinking through this shit! Go! I’m not gonna fuckin’ fight bigfoot!
[lots of laughter]
Griffin: Uh, Act Under Pressure for sure. I was going to make you Manipulate the sheriff but I think the tensions are quite high right now. So Act Under Pressure.
Justin: You know what, I’m actually gonna do Trust Me: when you tell a normal person the truth in order to protect them from danger, roll plus Charm.
Griffin: Ooh okay! I like that even better.
Clint: Yup.
Justin: It’s 8 plus 2, that’s a 10.
Clint: Yeah.
Griffin: I love it! Your Charm increased when you became a normie, right?
Justin: It didn’t increase, I re…. I just chose a-- Charm is actually +2 for all the different ratings you could pick for the Mundane, [crosstalk] it’s always +2 Charm.
Griffin: [crosstalk] I love that, that’s so cool. Yeah, then, then, I think the sheriff taps on the brakes again. And you really have to work to keep your footing on the car. And then he sees the bigfoot about to just smash into you, and he guns it. As he does so, the bigfoot starts to lose ground on you and then he just stops, and you see him back off through another one of those rifts. And then the sheriff yells--
Sheriff Owens: What the fuck are you doing on my car Duck Newton?
Duck: Yeah I was trying-- You’re gonna ask me why I skitch? Now who’s the narc!
[Clint laughs]
Griffin: He starts to yell something else, that the wind whipping past you is so loud you have a hard time making it out. Then he slams on the gas again and you can tell, as you swing around, that the bigfoot has appeared back in front of your car. The sheriff is now chasing after it. You’re definitely up on topside now, you’re zooming past Resort Row, where all these old dilapidated resorts that shut down a while ago, when the town’s economy dried up, are. You pass the ski lodge and then just past the turnoff down towards Amnesty Lodge, the Bigfoot disappears past the treeline, and the sheriff slams on the brakes. And you definitely-- you definitely get knocked off the car at that point.
Justin: Probably at that point, yeah.
Griffin: I think your helmet protects you. You see the sheriff hastily park the car, jump out, and draw his service revolver. And he says:
Sheriff Owens: Duck Newton, I don’t know what you’re doing here-- I don’t know what-- I’m-- I’m dragooning you, Duck Newton. We’re not gonna let this thing escape. This is the closest I’ve ever been to finding out what’s going on in Kepler, and you’re gonna help me. You understand me?
Duck: [pained] Oh man… can you just give me like a second? Jesus Christ.
Griffin: He grabs you by, like, the scruff of your collar and starts picking you up.
Duck: Alright, alright, calm down, fuck. I just fell off a car, jesus.
[Clint laughs]
Duck: Let me get a pull off this asthma inhaler real quick. [takes a deep breath] Alright, alright, hold on. Nope, need another pull. [another deep breath, speaks like he’s holding his breath] Yeah, alright, so Bigfoot’s real.
[Everyone laughs]
Duck: Boy, I can’t imagine how it must be to find out this way, but Bigfoot’s real.
Griffin: He shakes his head and dips back into the car. When he comes out, he is holding this black canister, and he throws it to you. And he says:
Sheriff Owens: Now listen, my service revolver is the only weapon I got on me right now, but that there’s some industrial strength pepper spray, so uh, I don’t know if this thing’s got eyes or whatever, but we need to go now; we are losing it.
transition music begins
Griffin: And he takes off into the woods.
Duck: [deadpan] Yeah, let’s go. Fuck it man, alright. Sure, why not. [Travis laughs] If you’ve got the guts, I guess I do too. Let’s go. Let’s go fucking kill Bigfoot there.
transition music
Griffin: Aubrey, when we left you off, you were racing over towards the sheriff’s department where Deputy Dewey was just flung through the front windows of the building by the bigfoot monster. There were, just like moments ago, a few people standing in the front lobby, and now like, fearing a continued assault from this monster they just saw, all but one of them have fled. As you approach the building, you see Detective Meagan, and she is hunched over the bloodied form of Deputy Dewey. She is applying pressure to his wounds. He’s got just these great big, sort of, slashes across his torso, and she stands up and darts over behind, ah, the receptionist desk here in the sheriff’s department building, and she starts dialing for an ambulance. As she sees you come close, she yells:
Detective Meagan: Hey, hey! You! You wanna be a hero? Put some pressure on that guy’s wounds or else he’s gonna bleed out!
Aubrey: Do you wanna be a hero? Then come over here and help me.
Detective Meagan: [frustrated] I’m calling an ambulance, put some-- are you kidding me?
Travis: I’m gonna Read a Bad Situation.
Griffin: Okay. That’s the move, tell me what Aubrey is doing.
Travis: So basically I’m checking on Deputy Dewey, trying to figure out if he even has time before an ambulance would get there. How bad he looks… if he’s in danger, basically.
Griffin: Okay. There are questions that deal with that. You rolled a 9 plus sharp. What’s your sharp?
Travis: Plus sharp is plus 1 so that’s a 10.
Griffin: A 10, cool. You get to hold 3: ‘what’s my best way in’, ‘what’s my best way out’, are there any dangers we haven’t noticed’, what’s the biggest threat’, ‘what’s most vulnerable to me’, ‘what’s the best way to protect the victims’? I don’t know that you have-- Ah, you have 3 to spend here, I don’t know that you’re gonna-- I don’t know that 3 of these are relevant to you, but…
Travis: Yeah, I’m gonna go with, uh, what’s the best way to protect the victim?
Griffin: Yeah I think that’s the obvious one here. Um, an ambulance ain’t gonna make it. Dewey does not have 10 minutes to spare, like Dewey does not-- Dewey does not have time for that. He is on death’s door, at this very moment.
Travis: So he’s looking worse than Keith did when Aubrey healed him?
Griffin: Yes, this is, this is-- to use game terminology, many harm. He is past the ‘dying’ checkmark on your health bar there. He is unstable, and uh, he is looking bad.
Travis: Okay, I’m gonna do some Big Magic--
Griffin: [crosstalk] Ooh! Okay.
Travis: [crosstalk] To try and do a big ol’ heal on Dewey here
Griffin: Okay, we’ve never done this before. Let’s talk about Big Magic. ‘The Keeper may require’-- what do you, what do you want to do? You just want to heal him?
Travis: Yeah, so I’m trying to do a big heal, like instead of just healing for 1, healing for like 2 or 3.
Griffin: Um, I mean let’s not gamify that, right? Let’s not say I’m trying to heal him with my-- [crosstalk]
Travis: [crosstalk] Yeah, I’m trying to stabilize him.
Griffin: Yeah okay, I like that. So, ‘the Keeper may require that you spend a lot of time researching the magic ritual’. Nah. ‘That you experiment with the spell; there will be lots of failures before you get it right’. We don’t have time for that either. You could need rear-- er, rare-- this is not fun to listen to.
Travis: The three that I think would make the most sense is either: ‘it needs multiple people’, so Meagan and Aubrey, ‘you need to use magic as part of the ritual’, so I’d have to use magic multiple times, or ‘it will have a specific side effect or danger’.
Griffin: Okay, I know what the side effect or danger is going to be, but I’m not going to tell you that. That’s one of the requirements. [Travis: Right.] I agree with you; I think you’re gonna have to use magic multiple times, and you’re gonna, like, have to tell me what that looks like. For the 2 people to help; you don’t need 2 people to help you do the ritual, cuz Detective Meagan does not know magic, but you will need her cooperation in some other form. So, that’s, that’s-- those are the terms of Big Magic--
Travis: Got it.
Griffin: And you’re gonna have to roll to do it like usual, but let’s move on with the scene. So what do you, what do you do?
Aubrey: Okay, so listen. Meagan, right?
Detective Meagan: Yeah?
Aubrey: An ambulance ain’t gonna make it. So call an ambulance if you want to, and watch our friend Dewey here bleed out while we wait. Now you come here, put pressure on this, and... I’m gonna try something a little extreme, but I’ve studied Reiki and I’m gonna heal him by manipulating energy, but I need your help to put pressure here [Griffin laughs] to give me time to use it. So you help me with the energy, okay?
Griffin: This is gonna be a big Manipulate Someone-- this is a wild, wild thing for you to trick someone into doing. [Travis: You don’t know that]
Travis: You don’t know that. [Clint laughs] It’s a seven plus one, it’s eight.
Griffin: They’ll do it, but only if you do something for them right now to show that you mean it.
Travis: I’m gonna make my hands glow.
Griffin: Yeaaah, okay. Are you gonna make them glow like-- on him?
Travis: No, just catch on fire like ‘I have power’.
Griffin: I don’t think that this would work. Like I’m trying to justify it, but I think you setting your hands on fire is not going to calm this person down. I think that you setting your hands on fire is going to-- [crosstalk]
Travis: Well I wasn’t-- I was doing it to show like, I’m not lying about having power of some sort to heal him, control over energy. This is more of like, shocking into convincing.
Justin: [sarcastic] That’s how my brain would work, I think, if someone had fire hands.
Travis: Because basically right now, we are in a power struggle where she feels-- Meagan is gonna feel like an authority figure, and I look like just some kid in a leather vest, or denim vest, or whatever. And I need to make some kind of power move that’s like “you should listen to me”.
Justin: [laughs] Beautiful tapestry you’ve painted there, Travis.
Travis: Thank you.
Justin: I dunno. A muumuu, or bike shorts, or, I don’t know somethin’. Clothes, you know?
Travis: Whatever the fuck. You know, big hair. It’s fine.
Griffin: Here’s what I will give you: she sees you set your hands on fire, and like, that’s enough weird stuff for her today, and she just faints. She just like, collapses. And you get the impression that she could have interfered with whatever you wanted to do here, but now she is more or less neutralized. That is the amount of cooperation-- [crosstalk]
Travis: I’ll take a neutral party, that’s fine, okay.
Griffin: So, yeah, now it’s just you and a, a, nearly dead Dewey.
Justin: That’s a sequel to Drop Dead Fred, Nearly Dead Dewey.
Aubrey: Alright magic, this is a big one. Uh… you and me, we’re gonna save Dewey’s life. So I need you… to help me heal him.
Griffin: What’s the physical move look like here? What are you doing?
Travis: So I would say like, with the wounds and everything, trying to close those up so there’s like a… Almost like a stitching, but with magic? To close up the wounds? And like, whatever the magical form of like, you know, a blood transfusion would be.
Griffin: [chuckles] Okay.
Travis: Gotta get some blood back into this man. So maybe the blood that spilled on the floor pulling back in.
Griffin: Shit, that’s gross. Um yeah, I mean you’ve never done anything like this before. This is so far outside your comfort zone. Ah, so go ahead and Use Magic. And this is the roll. [rolls] Oh my god.
Travis: Well, not great. It’s a 3, but I’m just gonna go ahead and do luck, ‘cuz I wanna save Dewey’s life.
Griffin: Um, I mean, I still get to add in the side effect or danger.
Travis: Absolutely, positively.
Griffin: So, how much luck do you have left? You have used a l--
Travis: Yeah, this’ll be my fourth of eight.
Justin: Dang, dude.
Travis: I’m halfway out, but listen, I know that if it was me and I had the choice, I would use one point of whatever to save somebody’s life. This is a pretty big one, so.
Griffin: Yeah. You put your hands on Dewey, and you-- it’s definitely harder than it was when-- this is probably the most exertion any spell you’ve ever cast has done.
Travis: I’m picturing like the orange in the eye kind of sparkling a little bit-- you know, like, I don’t know if that’s actually connected to magic, but in my mind it is.
Griffin: Yeah for sure.
Justin: I’m not sure Trav, how’s real magic work again?
Travis: Yeah no absolutely, and maybe the red hair dye in Aubrey’s hair gets a little brighter…
Justin: How’s the lighting? [giggles]
Travis: Really good. Really good lighting, but suddenly everything becomes a little bit like a blacklight poster.
Griffin: Actually it goes completely dark.
Travis: Oh.
Griffin: It is almost like, a trapdoor just opened on a stage beneath you and Deputy Dewey, and you are both just falling. And, your falling starts to slow down, and then you’re not moving anymore, you’re just kind of like, weightless in this void.
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Clint: You said there was a reception desk.
Griffin: Yes.
Clint: All right, so he wouldn’t be jumping all the way to the floor. He’d be jumping to the reception desk, which would be a little bit of a smaller drop.
Griffin: Uh, okay. I mean, it’s still gonna be, definitely, an Act Under Pressure. This is a big boy sort of gymnastic movement that I’m excited to see play out.
Clint: And that would be... [crosstalk] an 11!
Griffin: [crosstalk] Ah, there we go! A big 11. Yeah, okay—
Clint: —plus cool, that’s a 12.
Griffin: Uh, yes! Well done. Okay yeah, you jump, sort of, over the side of the stairs as this thing is charging up towards you, and you land on the reception desk. And, I think you got enough distance from the monster that you could make a move here without being necessarily threatened. You’ve got your gun a few feet ahead of you down on the floor of the lobby. You’ve got the exit into the office immediately behind you, and you have the hallway leading down to the, um, the conference room with the rifts in it.
Clint: I picture him landing on the reception desk like Neo landing from flying. You know, with his coat all, you know, all in the air. [makes whooshing noises]
Griffin: Yeah, sunglasses just form on your face, and Laurence Fishburne gives you a big smile.
Clint: I say he makes a run for the rift room, scooping up the, the gun as he pelts past it.
Griffin: Uh, okay. I think it’s gonna be a little bit rowdier in the rift room if you try and do both of those things, but I’m not gonna make you roll again for it. Ah, yeah, you do that. You are able to sort of make an arc through the lobby and swoop down and grab your gun—
Clint: The monster’s running up the stairs, right?
Griffin: The monster has now like, pivoted and is coming back down at you. And in the time it takes you to swoop and grab your gun, I think it makes it down the stairs, but you still have a, uh, an advantage over him; you are still in front of him, and you are able to run into the conference room with it at your tail. Um. And now you’re in the conference room, you can kind of see— you see, like, half a dozen rifts, right? And you, Ned, in particular, have seen these all over, for whatever reason, like, you have been more perceptive when you’ve-- when you’ve seen them.
Through one of them you see the front office of the morgue, where— you, you know, where you just were before you were pulled out. And it is empty, you can tell. You can see a handful of oblivious sheriff's department employees just kind of poking around the morgue, like cleaning up or searching for clues or whatever. Through another rift, you see the Hornet’s Nest from like, behind a patch of trees, and you can tell this is the one that you saw when you were investigating down at the Hornet’s Nest. Um, there are a couple other ones that are kind of tightly closed, that you can’t really see where they’re pointing. One of them, through one of them, you can tell, you see a tall, barbed wire-covered fence. What the fence is protecting, you can’t really tell. And... then there is a final one that opens up into the clearing behind Amnesty Lodge, through which you can see, ah, the-- the archway. There’s also one more rift in this room that is almost completely shut, and it is like glowing the brightest of all of these. Again, you kind of only have— you see this in the flash of a second because this thing is so hot on your tail.
Clint: Does-- does Ned have access to all of them?
Griffin: Yeah, they’re sort of all around the room. You would be able to make it into any of them. I mean, the ones that are— you’ve never, like... knowingly traveled— like, this thing pulled you through a rift, so you’re not exactly sure how— you’re just kind of, I guess, hoping that it’s like a door you can run through. But yes, it appears that you would be able to get to any of them.
Clint: Okay, then I say Ned makes a run, and jumps towards the one where he can see the barbed wire, because he doesn’t want to go to the Hornet’s Nest because the Hornets are there. He doesn’t want to go to the morgue because the sheriff’s office’s there. The other one’s too bright; that’s too scary. Why not go for the one that looks the most innocuous? And he does this thing where he turns in mid-air and shoots the Narf Blaster back [crosstalk] at the monster and goes flying backwards through the rift.
Griffin: [crosstalk] Fuck yeah. Why don’t you Kick Some Ass, and we’ll see how this slo-mo John Woo dive plays out.
[audio sample played in the background]: Yuh-oh!
Griffin: Shit.
Clint: Three. It’s a three. [crosstalk] I rolled a three.
Griffin: That’s a three.
Travis: Now, how lucky do you feel, Ned?
Griffin: Are you feeling lucky, punk?
Clint: Yeah, I gotta use a Luck here. [crosstalk] I’ve got to.
Griffin: [crosstalk] Okay, mark experience and burn a point of Luck here—
Travis: No, you don’t get experience if you do Luck.
Griffin: Oh, you don’t? Okay, nevermind.
Travis: I don’t think so.
Griffin: Okay, yeah. Ned, describe one more time— I think this thing is on the opposite end of the room— this rift is on the opposite end of this like, conference table. So, describe the scene as you—
Clint: I say— okay, so Ned’s flying as fast as he can. I say the monster even gets close enough to grab the tail end of his scarf... and pull it off of him, and that kind of—
Travis: Aww, now it has a lovely momento.
Griffin: [chuckling] Okay.
Clint: And that, and that kind of turns Ned, so as he turns, he’s now facing the monster. He already had the Narf Blaster in his hands, so he didn’t have to draw it. He shoots it-- He shoots it with the Narf Blaster and goes flying backwards into the rift.
Griffin: What’s the damage here, on the Narf Blaster?
Clint: Two harm. Yes.
Griffin: Two harm. Yeah, you see it rip some of its, like, meat off and as it— like, you’ve got this badass beam gun now, right? Like, that was the modification you did to it? It, like, just rips off part of its just like, body, and you see it just disintegrate into these particles that go flying behind it. And it seems to, like, howl, but it’s not actually quite as bad as when Aubrey stabbed it with her flying knife. But you did some damage to it. It also, uhhh because— you get to pick one extra effect here for Kick Some Ass, so: gain the advantage, take one forward, inflict terrible harm, you suffer less harm, or you force them where you want them.
Clint: I say force them where I want them, because I don’t want them to come through the rift.
Griffin: Okay. Yeah, then the beam of light pushes them backward and gives them a little bit of space. They get a claw, they claw, your like-- the back of your calf for one Harm, but that’s all that they get before you turn and blast them with this laser beam that knocks them backwards. And then you are through the rift, and, uh, they think about chasing you through it, but they seem like they stop, and then just the rift disappears. Um, and now you’re standing behind this barbed wire fence— rather, you’re probably lying prone by this barbed wire fence. And as you ah, correct yourself and look up, you realize you are inside the perimeter surrounding the Green Bank telescope.
transition music
Griffin: Duck, you and Sheriff Zeke are now, like, walking through the woods, and he’s trying to track, ah, the Bigfoot, and—
Justin: I imagine it stinks like fucking shit, right?
Griffin: I don’t think it smells very good.
Travis: Oh, you’re talking about Bigfoot and not the sheriff, right?
Justin: Nah, the sheriff’s fine. I imagine Bigfoot stinks all to hell.
Travis: What do you think the sheriff smells like?
Justin: Like a...man? [laughs] Sandalwood and old leather?
Griffin: You actually get— it smells— when you were close to it in the morgue, obviously there was a chemical smell from morgue chemicals, but it stank like sulfur. It smelled like rotten eggs. It smelled real-- You were right, it smelled real, real bad. I think you’re mostly tracking it through, you know, it’s giant footprints in the snow all around you. And perplexingly, they will go for a distance and then just stop and then reappear a dozen yards away, um, and, so trying to track it is kinda tough. And you get the sense that it could be anywhere, so you and the sheriff are watching each other’s back as you go through the woods. And he says,
Sheriff Owens: So y-you fought this thing back in the morgue? What do I need to know?
Duck: Um, it’s...I don’t understand it any better than you do, man. Um, it is, uh, dangerous. It is...uh, big— you saw that, saw it’s big. We shouldn’t be fighting it. There’s one, there’s a good one for you. This is a mistake. If you wanna bounce, like, I’m-- I am with you. Me and you taking this thing on together? Not smart. Not smart at all. I’m on the record for that.
Griffin: Are you trying to convince him to leave, or is this Duck being kind of scared?
Justin: Duck has lived a life not worrying about physical danger, right?
Griffin: Right.
Justin: I mean, he’s lived a life not worrying about that, so I think having to process that is— like, imagine that, if you lived for four decades being invulnerable, and suddenly you were. And you didn’t know what was— Like, you were thinking about things as what is dangerous and what is not for the first time in your entire life. Like I think he is processing it, but I think he still knows that it’s dangerous and this is his job, and this is the best hope they have, but [clears throat] I don’t think he’s crazy about it, let me say that.
Griffin: Okay, that makes a lot of sense. He hesitates for a second, and you see him lower his, his revolver, and he says,
Sheriff Owens: I mean— ah, god. You might-- You’re probably—
Griffin: And then you hear a sound in the distance, this loud roaring. It is getting louder and closer, super fast, and Sheriff Owens turns to face it, and then you see Hollis pull up on top of their motorbike, and they make a running stop. They are running off the bike and letting it slide and- and fall over. And they run up towards you. They’ve got this long rebar club that’s got this handle of just like wrapped leather around the bottom of it. And they are wielding it, and they move closer to you, and they say,
Hollis: It’s close, right?
Duck: What?
Hollis: The f— the monster, come on, Duck! Are you really gonna keep pretending?
Duck: Nah, honestly, I’m happy you’re here. Three of us means we’re um— well, we’re still probably gonna die, but it’s, like, better odds for sure. Um. So you wanna help us fight Bigfoot? ‘Cause Bigfoot’s real. Let me catch you up: Bigfoot’s real, and I feel comfortable telling you about that because I feel like there’s an 80% chance you, me, and Dupree over here are going to fuckin’ beef town. [Griffin, Travis, and Clint laugh] You know, we don’t have much of a choice here, folks, but let’s keep rolling. Anyway, Bigfoot’s real, now you’re caught up, let’s go kill it.
Griffin: Both of them are just staring at you with blank, shocked expressions, and then there is another sound. There is this heavy breathing, like screeching, almost like taunting noise that is pingpong-ing all, all around you in the woods, almost like it’s toying with you, trying to scare the three of you. Um. And then suddenly, Duck, you notice a shadow above falling on the three of you, and you see Bigfoot pouncing downward toward your party. What do you do?
Justin: He’s flying through the air down at me?
Griffin: He has, like, jumped down off of the boughs of a tree and is coming down towards the three of you.
Justin: All right, I am going to— I mean, I don’t even think about it, really. I-- I probably should, but I don’t think about it. I-- I just swing— I pull Beacon out in one motion and take a swing at him.
Griffin: Yeah.
Justin: I-- I-- I swing at him. That is a 9 plus 2, is 11, so I pull Beacon out with one movement, just slice right across the middle, and then I was like,
Duck: Oh, guys, one more thing! My belt’s a sword! Anyway... [laughter] Shit. Now you’re caught up.
Griffin: You get to—
Beacon: —and I can talk!
Duck: Yeah. Oh yeah! Shit! My belt’s a sword, I just stabbed Bigfoot.
Beacon: I can talk.
Duck: And those are the three things. Now you are indeed caught up. Let’s go.
Griffin: You get to pick one extra effect here. Uhhh, you gain the advantage, take one forward, you inflict terrible harm, you suffer less harm, or you force them where you want them.
Justin: I am probably gonna, um— you know, I’m not gonna take this thing on my own, I feel pretty confident about that. Um.
Griffin: Right.
Justin: I’m gonna force them where I want them. I’m gonna try to knock him down on the ground and maybe give us time to escape.
Griffin: Uhh, okay. You don’t know that the other two people here want to escape, but—
Justin: —I’m pretty sure they don’t.
Griffin: Okay. The three of you were kind of clustered together, kinda back to back to back, watching the perimeter, and the Bigfoot dove down towards your group, and with like the power of your slash— which has to have taken you by surprise, right? You’re not Superman anymore, but you just did a badass attack and cut this thing for 2 Harm, right?
Justin: Yeah. I think that one of the important things to realize is that Beacon is also a sentient sword, so I kind of feel like even though I’m Mundane, it’s probably better than just some asshole with a metal belt, [crosstalk] right?
Griffin: [crosstalk] Yeah.
Justin: He does have something of a mind of his own.
Griffin: And as the whip sword just caught Bigfoot perfectly with the tip, it sort of disrupted, uh, his dive, so you are the only one that catches the brunt of the harm that he dishes out. He, I mean, he just smashes, tackles you with tremendous force, and you take 2 Harm, which your helmet cushions the blow of a little bit. And he rolls to the ground. And with that, like, now Hollis, they just run up with this big rebar club and take a golf swing and smashes this, this Bigfoot across the face. And like without hesitating, Sheriff Owens spins on his heels and empties his revolver in the direction of the Bigfoot and, and catches him with a few of the bullets. And with that, the Bigfoot falls dramatically and then tries to right itself, and ah, just like limps off deeper into the woods. And Hollis and Sheriff Owens are like, already giving chase.
Duck: Good work! I did think we were gonna die there, but we can go die deeper in the woods. That’s fine. Let’s go, come on!
Griffin: [laughing] As you, as you—
Duck: —Make it real hard. You know what? Get a few more miles up there, this is gonna be true crime podcast material. You know, I’d love to be able to create that. That’s a system of perpetual giving right there. Come on! Let’s go.
Griffin: You are pursuing them pursuing the Bigfoot. You’re nearing a, like, treeline, and when you see it, you realize where you are. You realize what you’re close to. You realize where this thing is leading you all. And you break through the treeline alongside Hollis and Sheriff Owens, and you are standing in the clearing with the archway. And the Bigfoot is nowhere to be seen, it is quiet now. It has led you all here, and Hollis says,
Hollis: This is exactly where I lost sight of it last time.
Griffin: And Owens nods in acknowledgement, and both of them start sweeping the perimeter. And that’s when you remember, they can’t see the gate because they don’t know it’s there. But they are looking around trying to catch the trail of this monster again. What do you do?
Justin: Is it going back through the— it escaping through the archway would be bad? Good? Neutral? Like how would I, in my role, how would I feel about that.
Griffin: It would be peculiar, I feel like. It is, it is-- You have not seen a monster go through the archway. You have never seen a monster actually cross through the archway, so you don’t know. It’s also been using these rifts, so you’re not entirely sure. It could be either of those things.
One important thing is that it’s still, ah— it is not the middle of the night. There’s no moonlight shining down, so the archway is not, like, active. So you can see that it’s dormant... its dormant state. But the two of them are wandering around this clearing, looking for any sign of this monster that they can. They have not collided with this thing? You remember Duck didn’t know it was there— or, Ned didn’t know it was there but he crashed his car into it. So they are sweeping the field here, trying to find the Bigfoot.
Justin: Either Investigate A Mystery or Read A Bad Situation, would one of those—
Griffin: Yeah!
Justin: —hold, be useful here? Which one would be more—
Griffin: Probably Read A Bad Situation.
Justin: Okay. Let me do that.
Griffin: Ooh, that’s a good roll!
Justin: Of course. Yeah, it’s an 11.
Griffin: Plus Sharp?
Justin: Plus Sharp, which is 1, so it’s a 12.
Griffin: Nice.
Justin: Read A Bad Situation. I’m gonna say... I can hold three of these. What’s the best way to protect the victims? Griffin: Um... hm.
Justin: I, in this case, would describe as the other two cats.
Griffin: Uh, yeah, I mean, you might also be on— you realize, you could [crosstalk] potentially be on the list, right.
Justin: [crosstalk] And me, but that’s like, weird.
Griffin: The best way to actively save the three of you right now is like— your instincts were right earlier. You are no match for this thing. I think, actually, here’s what you get from that. When it fell down earlier, when you all lit it up, you can tell that it was faking. You can tell that like-- it wanted you to think that it was weakened, and so the best way to protect the victims, which is the three of you, potentially, is to… is to get them the fuck out of there.
Justin: All right.
Griffin: You have two more.
Justin: Okay, what’s my best way out?
Griffin: I think it’s-- With that, I think you definitely know you can get them to Amnesty Lodge from here. You’ve walked that path so many times, that if you all really need to get the fuck out of there, you can get them to, to Amnesty Lodge really quickly and not have to worry about this thing ah, slaughtering you in the woods.
Justin: All right. What is… Are there any dangers we haven’t noticed?
Griffin: With that one, you can see— the other two are poking around the other side of the clearing, and behind them, behind another treeline, you can see the Bigfoot. And its face is like-- not this monstrous mask of death anymore, like it is more... It is calm and pensive. It’s like you just went backstage and you saw the actors just hanging out and not being these— you know, putting on this-- the pageantry of the play, and you can read the emotion on this Bigfoot’s face, and it is frustrated, and it is confused, and it is looking at the two people that it led here, um. And then it looks over, and it sees you, and it smiles. And then it steps backward and disappears.
transition music
Griffin: So, Aubrey, you're not in the sheriff's department anymore, you're somewhere very strange. You look around and you've got the ah, the form of Deputy Dewey in front of you, but both of you are just inside of this massive hollow sphere? And all around you everywhere are-- are visions that are so far away you can barely make out, like, what they are. It's like you are surrounded by like a sky box in a video game? Just this huge static image that surrounds you on all sides. And you see like root systems growing downward through lush green fields, ah, and rivers of magma, and ah, waves on the ocean, and it looks like you're looking up at all this stuff from like below a big glass table. You see these, like, little pinpricks of light everywhere, just like concentrated heavily around certain parts of this sphere you're inside and sparse in others, and some of them are moving and some are flickering and reappearing somewhere else.
You are in the middle of just like this massive eco-ball, and Dewey's form is floating in front of you and he is motionless but his wounds are gone. And then floating on the other side of Dewey, a figure appears, and it has a hand extended and pressed gently on Dewey's chest. And this figure is a woman, and, and you get this like feeling when you look at her and it's the kind of feeling you get when you swear you've met someone before but like a thousand times stronger than that. This presence feels like it could be family, like it could be your sister if you, if you had one. And you feel this warmth and familiarity with this, this figure, this person, who so closely like... resembles you, in a way. And they actually look like a little surprised to see you, and she does a little wave. What do you do?
Aubrey: Magic? Are you magic?
Griffin: She like cocks her head to the side and smiles and does not take her hand off of Dewey. And she kind of like gestures down towards him.
Aubrey: Are you... You're helping me do... magic, right, to help Dewey?
Griffin: She looks up at you and smiles and nods.
Aubrey: Awesome. Hey. Thanks. I sure do-- appreciate it?
[Justin and Clint laugh]
Griffin: She takes her other hand now and places it, uh— She actually, no, what she does is she reaches out with her other hand and she grabs you by the wrist. It feels like you've just grabbed a, like a live wire, but not painful? You just feel this rush of euphoria and energy as she touches you, and she places your hand on Dewey and then she nods.
Aubrey: Okay, let's... let's do this! Should we chant, like "heal heal hea—" or is, what..?
Griffin: She is so focused on Dewey right now that she does not— She actually closes her eyes, and, uh, now you can feel that energy again, almost like it is sort of being pushed through Dewey, like you've formed like a conduit with this, this, this placing— laying on hands that the two of you are doing. And Dewey starts to glow? Just this beautiful light. and then—
Travis: He's pregnant!
Griffin: He is pregnant, he's a wonderful pregnant, uh, deputy. And then this figure looks up at you and she opens her eyes and she just has these bright orange glowing eyes. [Travis gasps] And then you wake up, and you are locked in a cell! Uh, you—
Travis: Super cool.
Griffin: You can see from where you are that, that Detective Megan has left the building. She apparently awoke at some point and dragged you in here and dipped? There's nobody in here as far as you can tell. Dewey you can see is laying on the floor and he is... he is not breathing. Detective Megan has actually covered him up with uhh, with a cloth, but you can see Dewey's form under there.
Travis: Uh...
Aubrey: Dewey, wake up! Dewey. I command you!
Griffin: Dewey... [laughs]
Aubrey: Rise! Dewey!
Justin: Dewey, come forth.
Aubrey: Dewey!
Clint: Dewey!
Travis/Aubrey: Rise, Dewey! My children of the night!
[Several laugh]
Griffin: Um, Dewey does not rise.
Aubrey: Rise! Rise!
Griffin: But what you do see is from behind the desk in the reception hall, in the lobby there, you see a ring of keys? And you see them just kind of, like, shake a little bit, and then they lift up and they slide across the um— they slide across the desk and then they come into the room that you're in with the cells, and you can kind of see some sort of like... They are floating around on this fog, and it's taking shape, this fog is, as the keys get closer, and they go into the gate of the cell that you're in and you hear the lock click and the gate swings open and this fog has fully taken form. It's Deputy Dewey and... he's a ghost.
Justin: Aw shit.
Travis/Aubrey: Aw dang, Dewey.
[Theme music (The Adventure Zone: Amnesty Theme by Griffin McElroy) plays]