This article is about the podcast arc. Click here for the graphic novel adaptation.
Here There Be Gerblins is the first story arc of The Balance Arc, and also of The Adventure Zone. It follows the Tres Horny Boys on their first adventure, which includes goblins, jack-hammer robots, and the destruction of an entire town.
Summary[]
Started off with us adhering to the adventure book. The three of you had to prove your salt. You were hired to transport Gundren Rockseeker's belongings from Neverwinter to Phandalin. He had a ward named Barry Bluejeans. You found that they were attacked by gerblins and abducted. You reached a cave that housed the gerblins that attacked them and you met Klarg, the Bugbear leader of the band and Yeemick, his second in command.
You were embroiled in Yeemick's plot to overthrow Klarg who, in turn, just murdered Yeemick. Taako charmed Klarg, (and we learned later, apparently permanently) to learn that Gundren had been kidnapped by a powerful wizard named The Black Spider, who wanted to use him to unlock Wave Echo Cave, a source of tremendous power near Phandalin. You rescued Barry Bluejeans who told you how to access the cave using Merle, who was Gundren's distant cousin, using Merle's blood.
After fighting through the strange fauna and machinery of Wave Echo Cave, you meet a few interesting individuals inside, including Killian, who is an extremely capable Orc woman who warned you not to meddle in her own pursuit of the Black Spider, and then you met the Spider himself, who was a Dark Elf named "Magic Brian", whom you kind of befriended, and then summarily killed.
The three of you, with Killian and a worse for wear Gundren Rockseeker entered the vault in the middle of Wave Echo Cave, not before Taako finds a powerful umbrella-shaped staff on a skeleton wearing a Red Robe. Inside that vault, you find a gauntlet which Gundren takes as his birthright, but it grants him a fiery power that he seems incapable of controlling. He flies from the room.
You pursue him back to Phandalin, stopping a convoy of Orc slavers and you free Kurtze, who is a young Orcish boy whose encampment had been destroyed by Gundren. You rescue him from a cage, although he leaves without thanking you. In Phandalin, Barry warns you that Gundren has grown too powerful before Gundren, who is now just made of Living Fire, destroys Barry Bluejeans. You nearly talk him down from his rage but Kurtze, in retribution, shoots him with an arrow from the outskirts of town.
You three and Killian dive into a well at the last second as Gundren goes thermonuclear and Phandalin is reduced to a circle of black glass. Killian explains that she represents an organization designed to stop these things from happening and enlists you after you are able to reclaim the Gauntlet without falling prey to its thrall. Killian summons a glass spherical vehicle from the sky which you ride up to a hole in the Moon.
- Griffin's summary from The "The Adventure Zone" Zone, transcribed by Reddit user MooseEatsBear.
Characters[]
Locations[]
- Neverwinter
- The High Road
- Cragmaw Hideout
- Wave Echo Cave
- Sword Mountains foothills
- Phandalin (Haverdale)
Deaths[]
- Multiple Goblins
- Multiple Wolves
- Multiple Slimes
- Multiple Unidentified Bandits
- Multiple Unidentified Orcs
- Most (if not all) of the population of Phandalin
- Yeemick
- Magic Brian
- Spider Bryan
- Tharden Rockseeker
- Nundro Rockseeker
- Barry Bluejeans
- Gundren Rockseeker
Loot[]
- Umbra Staff
- Magic Boots of Striding and Springing
- Enchanted feather duster
Long-Term Significance[]
- Merle debatably loses his hand axe.
- Taako casts Charm Person on Klarg.
- Tres Horny Boys discover Lup's skeleton clad in a red robe and Taako picks up the Umbra Staff.
- "Abraca-fuck-you!"
- The group attracts the attention of Killian, and the Bureau of Balance by extension.
- Phandalin is totally destroyed and turned into a huge, flat circle of glass.
- Taako carries a Grand Relic without apparent ill effect.
Trivia[]
Sessions[]
| Title | Air Date | Link | Runtime | ||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ep. 1: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter One | August 18th, 2014 | Listen | 1:58:41 | ||
| In this, the pilot episode of The Adventure Zone, the McElroys create the characters with which they’ll build a new — and hopefully very, very lucrative — fantasy fiction franchise. Join in the campaign as Justin (Taako), Travis (Magnus) and Clint (Merle), led by Dungeon Master Griffin, take their first steps into the unknown. | |||||
| Ep. 2: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter Two | December 4th, 2014 | Listen | 1:07:27 | ||
| Our heroes’ first job is not going especially well. Taako, Merle, and Magnus are hot on the trail of their employer’s kidnappers, leading them into a perilous gerblin den. Will they discover the fate of Gundren and his ward, Barry Bluejeans? Or will they find themselves held up by complicated gerblin office politics? | |||||
| Ep. 3: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter Three | December 18th, 2014 | Listen | 1:17:13 | ||
| With one half of their former employers effectively rescued, our party begins the hunt for Gundren Rockseeker in earnest. There are just a few things standing in their way: They don't know where he is, they're all Level Clown-Shoes, and also, a jelly monster. | |||||
| Ep. 4: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter Four | January 1st, 2015 | Listen | 1:05:38 | ||
| After solving a particularly difficult jelly puzzle, our heroes journey ever deeper into Wave Echo Cave. Taako meets a kindred spirit, Merle does some missionary work and Magnus does some really cool stuff with some chains. | |||||
| Ep. 5: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter Five | January 15th, 2015 | Listen | 58:47 | ||
| Merle, Taako, and Magnus complete their rescue mission, but then completely fail an entirely new, far more important mission. Taako acquires a powerful artifact, and doesn't seem so stoked about it. | |||||
| Ep. 6: Here There Be Gerblins - Chapter Six | January 29th, 2015 | Listen | 56:50 | ||
| In this, the thrilling conclusion to our first Adventure, Merle, Taako, and Magnus pursue their engulfed employer into the heart of Phandalin. Will they be able to douse him before things get out of hand? Also, are you going to finish that Luna Bar? | |||||