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Edmund "Ned" Kelly Fuckin' Danger Discretion Aloysius Superstar Butterfly Nimbly Ninja Pacifist Black Diamond Friendly Trustworthy Pissed Off [Redacted] Vamoose Su-Sussudio Middle Name Chicane Jr. was a player character in the Amnesty campaign played by Clint McElroy. Ned was the proprietor of a roadside cryptid museum / tourist trap called The Cryptonomica and the host of Saturday Night Dead, a local public access horror channel.

Despite making his livelihood off of cryptozoology and legendary creatures, Ned himself was a staunch non-believer (or at least he was prior to joining the Pine Guard), and was not above perpetrating a hoax to drum up business.

History[edit | edit source]

Thieving Days[edit | edit source]

Little is known about Ned's early life, most likely due to his constant use of fake identities and alternate middle names. In the past, he was a thief known to steal the possessions of the rich and famous, including an oscar from George Clooney, a briefcase with Mal Evans' name on it, and most importantly of all, the Flamebright Pendant, an heirloom belonging to the family of Aubrey Little. When Ned broke into the mansion along with his accomplice Boyd Mosche to steal the pendant, among other things, he inadvertently set the mansion on fire.

Feeling guilty and short on time, Ned was able to save Aubrey and her father, who were both unconscious at the time, but was forced to leave as Boyd would not wait. This led to the death of Aubrey's mother when the roof collapsed. During their getaway, they crashed into a tree on the side of the road. Ned was able to escape, but chose not to help his partner in crime in favor of saving his own skin. He began hitchhiking, walking and taking buses, eventually ending up in Kepler.

Short on money, Ned chose to burgle a nearby building, which happened to be the Cryptonomica, under management of Victoria. Ned was held up at gunpoint for trespassing, however he was let go and given a place to stay.

Working in the Cryptonomica[edit | edit source]

Ned began working in the Cryptonomica alongside Victoria until her eventual death. He inherited the business and began working on turning a profit, hiring Kirby to create e-magazines to popularize the business. It was at least partially successful, since the business stayed afloat for a few years before the government's new plans kicked in to bankrupt the tourist trap industry throughout Kepler.

Relationships[edit | edit source]

Duck Newton[edit | edit source]

Ned was a Kepler local and had a shared history with Duck Newton. At some point, Ned was entrusted with Duck's Chosen weapon, Beacon, for safekeeping. Since then, Ned apparently put it within the "Inner Sanctum" of the Cryptonomica.

He wrote Duck a letter, with great admiration.

Aubrey Little[edit | edit source]

Ned and Aubrey were co-workers and friends through the Pine Guard. Ned eventually recalled something he did to her years before they formally met, but Aubrey was unaware it was him who did it for a long time.

He wrote her a letter, with love.

Kepler Residents[edit | edit source]

Ned seemed to have earned a reputation among other locals as a grifter. He was at odds with members of the local government who saw his business as bad for the town's image. Despite this, he was considered a local and even was able to host a tv show called "Saturday Night Dead"

Mama[edit | edit source]

Mama was not as supportive of Ned when compared to the other pine guard members, but still regarded him as a friend and ally. When an imposter of him appeared on tv, she was able to deduce that it wasn't the real Ned. She later carves a statue of him in his honor.

She also was the one who was beside him in his last moments, and regarded him as her "fallen friend."

Agent Stern[edit | edit source]

Agent Stern is an FBI agent investigating supernatural phenomenon, and was drawn to Kepler by Ned's very convincing Bigfoot video that he posted online. When he came to Kepler, the second person he talked to (supposedly) was Ned, after being redirected to the Amnesty Lodge by Kirby.

Barclay[edit | edit source]

Barclay is grateful for Ned helping him in the forest, but exasperated that Ned uploaded the video of that night onto the internet and how much attention is being brought to Kepler because of it.

Boyd Mosche[edit | edit source]

Boyd was Ned's former partner-in-crime, whom he met while they were both burglarizing the same residence, under the guise of being pest exterminators. They cooperated well enough to escape the police closing in on the house, but Ned nonetheless declined to give Boyd his real name. Probably. They had a falling out when he abandoned Boyd in their totaled car, leading to his arrest. Boyd held a grudge towards Ned ever since.

Kirby[edit | edit source]

Kirby worked with Ned as an employee at the Cryptonomica, working as a journalist for internet articles to popularize the establishment. They got along fairly well, but Ned didn't trust Kirby enough to reveal his past or give him keys to the "Inner Sanctum" of the Cryptonomica, but still left him the building after his death.

Powers and Abilities[edit | edit source]

Moves[edit | edit source]

Basic Moves[edit | edit source]

  • Act Under Pressure: Used for any difficult or dangerous action that isn't covered by another move. 
  • Help Out: Used to help another hunter do something. If Ned succeeds, he'll give them a bonus on their task. 
  • Investigate a Mystery: Used to work out what kind of monster Ned is dealing with, what it can do, and what it's planning. 
  • Kick Some Ass: Used for fighting. Fighting monsters, mainly. 
  • Manipulate Someone: Used to try and get someone to do something for Ned after he gives them some kind of reason.
  • Protect Someone: Used to save someone from danger. 
  • Read a Bad Situation: Used to work out what dangers are immediately threatening Ned. For instance, if he thinks he is walking into a trap or wants to do some tactical analysis. 
  • Use Magic: Used to cast magic spells or use enchanted items. 

The Crooked Moves[edit | edit source]

  • Artifact: Ned "found" a magical artifact with handy powers, and kept it in The Cryptonomica.
  • Driver: Edmund has +1 ongoing while driving, plus he can hotwire anything. His main vehicle is a 1958 Lincoln Continental Mk. III and he also has access to an Alpina Superclass, a three-seater utility snowmobile.
  • Background:
    • Burglar: When Ned breaks into a secure location, he rolls +Sharp. On a 10+ he picks three, on a 7-9 he picks two:
      • He gets in undetected
      • He gets out undetected
      • He doesn’t leave a mess
      • He finds what he was after.

The Flake Moves[edit | edit source]

  • Net Friends: Ned knows a lot of people on the Interned. When he contacts a net friend to help him with a mystery, he rolls +Charm. On a 10+, they’re available and helpful. They can fix something, break a code, hack a computer, or get him some special information. On a 7-9, they’re prepared to help, but it’s either going to take some time or Ned's going to have to do part of it himself. On a miss, he burns some bridges

The Professional Moves[edit | edit source]

  • Mobility: Ned had a van built for monster hunting. Choose two good things and one bad thing:
    • Good things: surveillance gear, toolkit
    • Bad thing: obvious

Haven[edit | edit source]

  • Panic Room: This has essential supplies and is protected by normal and mystical means. Ned can hide out there for a few days, safe from pretty much anything.

Middle Names[edit | edit source]

Ned claimed many middle names during the course of The Adventure Zone: Amnesty including:

  • "Fuckin'" (Episode 3)
  • "Danger" (Episode 4)
  • "Discretion" (Episode 6)
  • "Aloysius" (Episode 9)
  • "Superstar" (Episode 10)
  • "Butterfly" (Episode 11)
  • "Nimbly" (Episode 11)
  • "Ninja" (Episode 11)
  • "Pacifist" (Episode 11)
  • "Black Diamond" (Episode 12)
  • "Friendly" (Episode 15)
  • ”Trustworthy” (Episode 26)
  • ”Pissed Off” (Episode 26)
  • “[Redacted]“ (Episode 26)
  • "Vamoose" (Episode 28)
  • "Su-Sussudio" (Episode 36)
  • “Middle Name” (Episode 36)
  • Kelly (Episode 28)

Counter: 18

Gear[edit | edit source]

Gear both formerly owned and lost by Ned throughout the show.

Weapons[edit | edit source]

Weapons formerly in Ned's possession.

Item Episode Acquired/Mentioned Tags Notes
The Chicane Cane 3 1-harm A wooden walking stick with a heavy brass knob at the end.
.357 Magnum Revolver 4 2-harm, close, reload "The most powerful handgun made and can take your head clean off"; Originally belonged to Eliot Ness; "Borrowed" from a museum
NARF Blaster 9 2-harm, life-drain A toy shotgun enchanted by Heathcliff; Allegedly given to Ned by Reyn Guyer

Armor[edit | edit source]

Item Episode Acquired/Mentioned Tags Notes
Chewbacca Costume 1 A leftover Halloween costume; Used by Ned in an attempt to impersonate Bigfoot
Pine Guard Patch 4 A patch worn by members of the Pine Guard; Woven with Sylvan wool, allowing him to safely travel through Sylvain

Fan Art[edit | edit source]

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Had the look and big, bushy beard of Brian Blessed.
  • Stole George Clooney's Oscar for Syriana, just so he could say he stole from "Danny Ocean".
  • Despite their many similarities, Clint has confirmed that Ned was not based off Grunkle Stan.[1]
  • Had an enchanting butt.[2]
  • Ned's middle name may be a reference to real life Australian bushranger and outlaw Ned Kelly
  • The word "chicanery" means "deception by artful subterfuge or sophistry".
  • Ned is the first and so far only instance in the entire podcast of true, permanent character death during a campaign. Though the Tres Horny Boys died temporarily many times during the events of Balance, and Augustus Parsons and Magnus Burnsides died respectively before and after their campaigns, Ned was The Adventure Zone's first instance of actual character death as a TTRPG mechanic.
  • Did the perfect "Phoon"(short for typhoon)

References[edit | edit source]

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